Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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