I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
