What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
