I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
