okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
