even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize