So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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