hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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