i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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