i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize