I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
