Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
