I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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