I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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