your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The air was thick with penises
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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