Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my poor anus
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
