Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
