stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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