Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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