I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Actions speak louder than pants.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
