Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I could fuck to npr.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
