Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love you. Go after that dick
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
