i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My bed is full of blood and feathers
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
