I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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