drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think my tv is drunk
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
