I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
