ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
