I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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