You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
