Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
