I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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