we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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