After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
