I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
