Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
too bad you live with your parents still
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
