That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
