Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
