dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
