you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize