We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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