Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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