I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have fence marks all over my body
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
