Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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