I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
