This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
