girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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