wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
