.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
