I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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