..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
