I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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