I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
