Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
