Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Buhtt sex?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize