either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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