I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize