I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
