either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
