The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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