Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
