Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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