I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
