I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
