So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
