Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
