thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
