weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
