He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize