do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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