he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
