There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
