Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize