I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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