That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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