just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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