My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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