I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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