i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
