You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize