new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize