My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
