Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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