I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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