My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
